The past three days have seen major hassles in my personal life. I'm always being torn apart it seems. One pulling on me this way and another pulling on me that way. There's only so much of me to go around, and I always feel like screaming: "GROW UP! GET A LIFE WHY DON'T YA!"
But no, it seems nothing can happen, move forward, unless I'm somehow involved. I'm the go to person in all things at my house, and it's got to stop. Being shoved from my writing zone a hundred or more times a day is driving me insane to say the least. I can't get anything accomplished.
This morning I put on the coffee and while it was doing its thing, I opened the fridge to grab an English muffin to toast with some cheese. I spied a can of Diet Coke and since I was thirsty, popped the tab and guzzled some down. After the muffin was placed in the toaster oven topped with cheese, I leaned against the counter and watched the coffee drip drip drip into the carafe.
As I was observing this painfully slow process, I pondered all the unforgivable interruptions in my life--yes, unforgivable because my family shows zero respect for me and what I want to do. My writing does not count and fits on the importance scale, to them at least, somewhere below the location of their favorite pair of socks. Who the hell has a favorite pair of socks anyway?
Yeah, I'm mad. Damn mad. Five hundred words in two weeks time. Wouldn't you be mad? Could someone please tell me how to get my family under control and make them understand that writing is important to me, and I'm going to do this even if they DON'T like it? I tell them that all the time, but it doesn't work worth a damn.
There's a bottle of whiskey on the counter--leftover from the weekend. I had two shots and crawled into bed Saturday night. I'm so sorely tempted to make myself an Irish Coffee this morning. Hmmm...I do have whipped cream. And it's the LITE kind too. No guilt. God, they're driving me to drink!
Friday, November 5, 2010
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18 comments:
Lock the door. Put a sign on the door. "If your emergency does not require an ambulance or the fire department, it is NOT an emergency. I will be available between 4 PM and 8 PM. Have a good day." (Or whatever time you decide on--and stick to it, even if you have to take a bagged lunch to "work" with you.
And your family actually reads that sign and pays attention to it? I still get a knock on the door and in most cases not even a knock. The door just swings open anyway. Why? Because THIS TIME IT'S IMPORTANT.
That's all I get. Won't take a second, or sorry, but I need to know...
Nothing has worked for me. Absolutely nothing. I thought that today I'd get to write, but nope, just had another problem tossed on top of me that ONLY I can solve. And you know what? They are right. They can't handle all of the issues that come along. I'VE RAISED A BUNCH OF INCAPABLE NUTS.
LOCK the door... and until you stick to it, they won't. Maybe try it for a couple hours at a time.
Oh, bless you. I feel your frustration from this post. It's sad too, isn't it, that we stand and ponder these things and wonder what we did so awful that we're not respected.
Reminds me, I forgot to tell you something similar to this the other day. Will email you now.
:o)
A couple of hours at a time, huh? Okay, I can try that. Maybe it will eventually rub off. But doesn't look like I can try it today. Tomorrow is Saturday and at least two of them will be gone all damn day. So that's the perfect time to work on the other two here. Thanks, Anny. I can see you understand--a been there, done that kinda thing for ya. lol
Yep, I just stood there and wondered about it all this morning, Nat. Why is it nothing I do ever gets in line first? I wanted a new jacket this weekend. But it had to take a backseat to Jess going to the Renaissance Festival instead. I just can't constantly fork over bucks. I could tell her to stay home but it would break her heart not to go. And it won't break MY heart if I don't buy that new jacket.
I sometimes wonder, too, what would happen if I told them exactly what I give up in order for them to have everything they want. Cause I definitely give up my wants and even needs dozens of times during a year.
Same here. One day, my friend, we'll be able to indulge and relax!
:o)
You really do have to lock the door, and tell them you're going to lock it, and DO NOT open it, and that if they have issues, to let them wait until you're finished.
That's so easy to say, but not always so easy to enforce.
And, besides, I always had so much trouble concentrating when I knew there was someone impatiently waiting for me to finish, even if the door WAS closed.
But it's so inconsiderate to not listen to you when you make a request for some privacy.
Hang in there. I hope they'll get it soon, and allow you some quiet time.
You know, CZ. If they would just give me three days a week--just three in which they tiptoed around me. I'd be happy. I mean I don't even require seven days. lol Just three.
I'll try again tomorrow. There is too much going on. Just got a call from Jess' bf, a sweet guy, he needed a favor. How could I NOT grant it? sighhhhhhhhh
Hmm, if you have a laptop, you could always just ditch the family altogether and go to a library or a coffee shop or a bookstore for a couple hours a day. Would that be possible?
You know, Scarlet, I was just wondering the same thing? If shutting the door and telling everyone to leave her the hell alone doesn't work, that could. Terrible to be driven out of your own home to be able to write, though, isn't it? Maybe if you do it a few times. Just walk out and do your own thing, they'll realize.
I'll second what Anny Cook said. LOCK the door and put up a sign that says something to the effect of "Tess is WRITING (WORK) and is unavailable except for DEATH OR DISMEMBERMENT from noon until 3 pm today. DO NOT FRICKING DISTURB OR YOU WILL BE PUT IN THE WOOD CHIPPER!"
They WILL interrupt and you MUST follow through. That's the real test - the follow-through. Answer the door, point to the sign, and tell them to fend for themselves for three miserable hours. You MUST follow through. Once they figure out you mean it they'll start to leave you alone.
That's what I heard Marion Zimmer Bradley say at a convention once when she talked about trying to get any !@#$% writing done with small children in the house. But yours are almost adults now. Crack that whip!
In some states McDonald's has wifi...Panera's (great coffee and bagels!), Starbucks, Barnes and Nobles...the possibilities are limitless.
Yeah, Regina! I don't know if anyone here is familiar with the book Why Women Love Bitches by Sherry Argov, but in a nutshell, it basically states that if things aren't going your way (in romance mainly, but also in life with others), just do your own thing and screw everyone else. Not only will it empower you as a woman, it'll inspire those around you to have new respect for you. I can attest to the book's truth!
I don't have a laptop, Scarlet. I bought one and could not get used to it and gave it to my kid. I should have kept it.
But honestly? I like my little office. The location within the house is so convenient for me. And I really don't want to write anywhere else.
All kinds of places have Wi Fi around here, but even if I did go out some place to write, I don't think I could write a thing. Not in a public place. That would be just as distracting for me.
I think what I need to do is get my music going again and put my headphones on. They will still disturb me, but the music might help me to stay focused and not simply lose my zone once interrupted. Not sure. My Ipod broke. I guess I'll try another one. sighhhh
That's part of it too, Regina. Why should I have to leave MY home. Hell, I pay the damn mortgage. All I ask for is just a little respect for what I want to do. I don't screw with anyone else's play time or dreams. I encourage them--wish them well--help them even.
You're right, Lizzie. Mine are definitely old enough to understand that this should be MY time, not theirs. They ARE old enough to fend for themselves. It all gets so tiring and overwhelming.
But I'm the one who needs to crack the whip. And I'm going to have to do it. I need to assert myself more. And if their feelings are hurt--so be it.
Yea for headphones! You can do it. Just be assertive! I believe in you!!
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